Home.

After a year of being in Colombia, I was finally able to go home to see my friends and family that I had missed undescribably. The first 12 months of my service had been a rollercoaster of emotions; first going through the elated highs and excitement and then swooping down into the lows of reality and everyday challenges, and ultimately surfacing to a happy medium, only to grab hold of the chaos going, “What…was…THAT?!” I sat on the plane during my first flight into Miami with a thousand thoughts running through my head. My worst fears being that I had over idolized the United States and misremembered how things actually are; that roses don’t grow on every street corner and people don’t hand out free money. Ok, an exaggeration of my actual thoughts, but a very real interpretation of my fear: disappointment. All of these thoughts and all of these emotions that came swirling up to clog my brain suddenly dissipated the instant I saw my mom standing at the end of the gate with open arms. It was finally clear to me that nothing else mattered, I was home.

Homerun

The ride from the airport and for the rest of my visit, I was often asked how I was feeling, how I was doing and did I feel weird being back. The answer to the latter was no. Previously I thought that I might have felt like a foreigner in my own country, but in fact it was quite the opposite. I felt like I was right where I belonged. But anybody who knows me, knows that where I belong is not where I tend to stay for long. My mind is too curious to be stagnant for an extended period. So, while enjoying my brief visit, I soaked up the comforts of home the incredible food and all of the long-awaited love; I had wonderful conversations with friends, and I laughed harder than I had in a long time. The people who I hadn’t been able to talk to for over a year fit so naturally back into my life, disproving my doubts that things would be different. I remember coming back from Peru after a five month leave thinking that it was disappointing that nothing had changed. Now, after being away from home for more than double that time, I’m actually grateful that things are nearly the same as I left them. If the people and places were different, then it might feel a little less like home. Flying in past Lambeau Field and hearing the thick Green Bay accent being called over the speaker was a warming reassurance.

My trip was exactly what I needed to recharge my batteries for round two as I said my goodbyes at the airport; a deja vu experience to the year prior. After a day of flight connections and lazy naps on the plane, I landed back in Barranquilla and made my way to the bus station to take the next transportation back to Santa Marta. Hauling all of my luggage up four flights of stairs, I dropped it in my room and slept for the next 10 hours. Waking up groggy, I reminded myself of where I was and realized that it was time to get my life back in order. So to school I went, where I was greeted with shouts of joy and hugs. Since then it has been a hectic couple of weeks. If you remember from my last post, the new volunteers had just been arriving as I was making my way back to the U.S. They’re currently going through training which means that volunteers from my group are now chosen to give sessions and share our experiences from the first year. Between going back and forth to Barranquilla (about 2 and half hours away) and moving into a new house, I’ve had my hands full.

Update: My new house is wonderful, I still live with the same people and in the same apartment building but in the next tower. It’s a little bit smaller, but equally wonderful. More cozy!

Meeting the new volunteers is exciting, and I think they’ll be great to work with from listening to their experiences and all of the new ideas they bring. It’s difficult to miss school and valuable class time with my students, but giving training sessions is also a nice change of pace to keep me busy during these first few weeks back in Colombia.

I have neglected my blog for quite some time now which means that you haven’t been able to get updates, but it hasn’t been on purpose! There are many new changes here, which I think is why they say that your second year in the Peace Corps goes by so quickly. For now, I’m trying to grasp onto everything and really enjoy my time before it goes by. I’m realizing now that this won’t last forever, and the things that I love the most won’t always be around. Despite the struggles, there come waves of happiness that I could never put into words. I loved going home to my family, but coming back has also shown me how much I enjoy my Peace Corps life as well. It’s where I have been challenged, where I have grown, and where I have learned to be the person that I want to be. And in a paradoxical way, when my family encouraged me to leave, not only once but twice, it only made me love them that much more. How can you not love those who allow you to do the things that make you love yourself? (Go you, Mom!)

And to all of those who I was able to see, and to those who I sadly was not during my brief time home, I want to thank you. Thank you for all of your encouraging words and your listening ear as I rambled on about incomprehensible nonsense about third world struggles. The importance of relationships has never been made as clear to me as it has this past year; after all they’ve gotten me where I needed to go, so here’s a part from one of my favorites “Oh the Place You’ll Go!”

…And when you’re alone, there’s a very good chance
you’ll meet things that scare you right out of your pants.
There are some, down the road between hither and yon,
that can scare you so much you won’t want to go on.

But on you will go
though the weather be foul
On you will go
though your enemies prowl
On you will go
though the Hakken-Kraks howl
Onward up many
a frightening creek,
though your arms may get sore
and your sneakers may leak.

On and on you will hike
and I know you’ll hike far
and face up to your problems
whatever they are.

You’ll get mixed up, of course,
as you already know.
You’ll get mixed up
with many strange birds as you go.
So be sure when you step.
Step with care and great tact
and remember that Life’s
a Great Balancing Act.
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.

And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)

-Dr. Seuss